It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize