U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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