So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
