i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
