Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
