Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
