Will you blow on my dice?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
