I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize