Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This is the high leading the old right now
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
