ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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