a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
