Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
