I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
