If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
