she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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