we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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