"it" just moved
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize