I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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