I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
