Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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