Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
