gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
