If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I forgot how hot balto sounded
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
