we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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