she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
