Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
