He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
