You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
