I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i drank out of a bidet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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