my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
