The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
