Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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