Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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