she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
