She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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