GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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