just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
