belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
