I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
