I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
