Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We have started to decorate penises.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
