ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
