She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
