Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
