And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize