So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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