I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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