I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize