DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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