you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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