my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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