is your mom at the bar?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
