look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
did i just pee glitter
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