please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
