thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize