before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I forget how to act sober
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