wanna go halves on a baby?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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