Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
