If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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