Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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