Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize