Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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