if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Randomize
