Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
