I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
